I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
