i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
vagina is talking i cant
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
