Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
