best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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