I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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