The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
