our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
