So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
