my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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