McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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