Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
