hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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