I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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