I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
