Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you traded sex for a burrito?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
