Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
