Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
