I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Randomize
