she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
