i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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