last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your cock deserves a montage
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My feet surprised me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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