what day is it and did you see me today?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We're hate flirting, damnit.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
