This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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