You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
