It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
