I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
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