Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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