Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
