I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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