considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
