You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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