I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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