I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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