worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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