It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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