another moral hangover. fuck.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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