I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
