TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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