I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize