I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize