Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
