You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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