I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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