I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
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So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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