last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
