hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I smell stomach acid.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
