if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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