im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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