Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This baby is an asshole
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
