New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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