i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
