I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
