so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
