i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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