Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
