i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize