Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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