Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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