buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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