Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
