Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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