I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize