it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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