I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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