ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
