really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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