my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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