I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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