were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
